It takes a village, jackass.

the time has come...

Mon, 03 May 2004 21:51:30 GMT

you know the deal, if your already on my list, don't worry about it. if not, and you desperately want to be on my friends list....do the damn thing and comment. otherwise....feck off.

Mon, 03 May 2004 15:06:57 GMT

fuck. i woke up feeling worse than i did yesterday. woohoo. seriously, this is the last thing i need right now. thank the lord i don't have to work.

speaking of work, i gotta see if i can find something to do for the next month. i wish my damn temp agency wasn't so unreliable. stupid fuckers.

and i think i'm going to wait until tomorrow to call on the internship. i sound like shit so i think it might be better.

i don't want to drive home today, i'm too tired.

Mon, 03 May 2004 05:44:22 GMT

underline the ones that you actually like.

1. We Built This City ... Starship i'm a child of the 80's, i can't help it.
2. Achy Breaky Heart ... Billy Ray Cyrus
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight ... Wang Chung
4. Rollin' ... Limp Bizkit
5. Ice Ice Baby ... Vanilla Ice
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll ... Huey Lewis and the News
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy ... Bobby McFerrin
8. Party All the Time ... Eddie Murphy
9. American Life ... Madonna
10. Ebony and Ivory ... Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
11. Invisible ... Clay Aiken
12. Kokomo ... The Beach Boys
13. Illegal Alien ... Genesis
14. From a Distance ... Bette Midler
15. I'll Be There for You ... The Rembrandts
16. What's Up? ... 4 Non Blondes
17. Pumps and a Bump ... Hammer
18. You're the Inspiration ... Chicago
19. Broken Wings ... Mr. Mister
20. Dancing on the Ceiling ... Lionel Richie
21. Two Princes ... Spin Doctors
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) ... Toby Keith
23. Sunglasses at Night ... Corey Hart
24. Superman ... Five for Fighting
25. I'll Be Missing You ... Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112
26. The End ... The Doors
27. The Final Countdown ... Europe
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland ... John Mayer
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's ... Deep Blue Something
30. Greatest Love of All ... Whitney Houston
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm ... Crash Test Dummies
32. Will 2K ... Will Smith
33. Barbie Girl ... Aqua
34. Longer ... Dan Fogelberg
35. Shiny Happy People ... R.E.M.
36. Make Em Say Uhh! ... Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal
37. Rico Suave ... Gerardo
38. Cotton Eyed Joe ... Rednex
39. She Bangs ... Ricky Martin
40. I Wanna Sex You Up ... Color Me Badd
41. We Didn't Start the Fire ... Billy Joel
42. The Sounds of Silence ... Simon & Garfunkel
43. Follow Me ... Uncle Kracker
44. I'll Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) ... Meat Loaf
45. Mesmerize ... Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
46. Hangin' Tough ... New Kids on the Block
47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You ... Bryan Adams
48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da ... The Beatles
49. I'm Too Sexy ... Right Said Fred shut up, i like it
50. My Heart Will Go On ... Celine Dion

the last one is so true...

Mon, 03 May 2004 04:56:07 GMT

Opinions of the Fab 5 by StalkMeBack
Username
Kyan loves your	leather jacket
Ted hates your	leather jacket
Jai kisses your	foot
Thom pities your	lawn gnomes
Carson feels your	ass
The Fab 5 advise you	to get a vocabulary lesson from Jessica Simpson
They think you	should get a new hobby besides talking like Carson

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Sun, 02 May 2004 21:14:49 GMT

i think i'm getting sick. i woke up this morning with a really sore throat...and it still hasn't gone away. i've had no energy to do anything today. luckily, i'm not going home until tomorrow...so i can veg here.

i think i'm gonna go back to bed.

LOOK!

Sun, 02 May 2004 08:07:18 GMT

someone made these for me!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Sun, 02 May 2004 07:58:05 GMT

to quote Mr Wainwright...."i'm just a floozy, an old-fashioned hussy."

i'm in Fresno. yay, or something. this place has such a boring existance. i swear, when i move here (which is the inevitable)...i know i'm going to end up being as bored as hell.

god, i feel so sick to my stomach. it's all Allen's fault for forcing me to eat pizza. ugh. i shouldn't have eaten it and i did. i'm an idiot.

*pukes*

Tony pics for Teagan!

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 22:16:09 GMT

here ya go, hon!

these are from Valentine's Day 2003. all of them were taken by moi

here's another one...i forget when this was from. whoops

i have some more floating about....i'll post them when i get home from Fresno on Monday.

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 19:02:48 GMT

god i feel so helpless. my co-worker's mother-in-law just passed away back in Arkansas. i feel so bad because she's pretty upset. i know EXACTLY how she feels. when my Nana died....my parents didn't tell me until after she was dead. i didn't get to be there and say goodbye. by the time i got to the hospital, her body was gone. i remember being so furious at my mom. my Nana was a second mother to me...she was my mom when my mom wasn't capable.

i feel bad, because i want to go over and give her a hug, but i don't know if i should.

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 03:02:56 GMT

http://www.1079thelink.com/audioclips/index.cfm?startrow=46&page=10&showcode=MR&CFID=415185&CFTOKEN=64782606

that is a link to a funny Ted and Thom interview. they have such great chemistry. and they make me laugh.

welp...

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 19:10:10 GMT

tomorrow is my last day at Smuckers. i got told TODAY after having to ask...tomorrow is it. it kinda would have helped to know about it before, but whatever. so now i have to call the temp agency and see if they can find me something for the next month. i need the money.

lmao!

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 17:52:24 GMT

oh my god...go check this out.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=4146756343

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 07:03:26 GMT

i had to make an icon because Rufus + eyeliner = sexiness

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 21:20:13 GMT

oh my dear lord. i was just out getting gas and i had the radio on. they were playing Joey McIntyre's new song. so after it's over....they say, "Joey McIntyre coming LIVE to Monterey on May 22nd!!" o_O what the fuck? NO ONE comes to Monterey and now my arch enemy that i used to be in love with is coming?? what the hell is going on?
i'm scared.

and then, i switch the channel and i hear the new Morrissey song. that made me happy as hell. MORRISSEY IS ON THE RADIO! WOO!

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 15:21:42 GMT

i decided not to go into work today. i woke up with a fucking migraine. however, i still got up and got ready for work. i was on the way to work when i started having an anxiety attack. i've been having mild ones the past few days, but this was a little worse, topped with the migraine. thank god i called work and my co-worker was back....she told me to go home and rest. i was going in because i wasn't sure if she'd be there....but she was, thank god.

i think i'm going to sleep the day away.

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 14:11:34 GMT

so there is someone on the queereye community who has an interview with QE on Friday. great.

i'm not going to get it.

jaw drops

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 05:23:29 GMT

*is speechless*
jesus.

*ahem*
i'm going to bed, i'm so exhausted.

Mandi, honey, sorry i'm not on tonight....so tired. i should be on tomorrow night after class. *smooch*

so, i might be able to get a place....

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 19:21:17 GMT

in Brooklyn, if the internship goes through. i called the Summer Housing agency in NYC and they said they have availability in the Brooklyn building. she said if i call next week, there should still be some available.

trying not to get my hopes up. really trying.

because i'm fucking neurotic....

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 18:01:13 GMT

i called Hartnell (my college) again today...just to make sure they will give me credit if i get the internship. they said i absolutely will. dear god. now all i need to do is call the summer housing in NYC and see how many openings they still have available. just in case.

i think i'm having a mild anxiety attack today. my chest feels really tight and i'm having trouble getting my breath. not cool.

i am such a tool.

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 16:03:52 GMT

i sometimes enjoy going back and reading through my old journal entries. it's funny the things i used to say...or used to be into....even if it was only a year ago. i'm particularly amused by this post.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/chelsea_doll/30352.html

tries to keep composure

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 22:46:30 GMT

so i had my brief phone interview with a guy named Eric. the assistant to the assistant of the Daves, i believe. so....at the end of the interview, he said....."you have a very good chance of getting this position." i think all i said was...."really? wow." he will call me back next week and he told me to call him if i didn't hear from him. so i hung up the phone and immediately called Hartnell College, where i'm enrolled....to make sure i could get credit. the only way i can get the internship is if i can get college credit. so, i ask and they said i can. absolutely.

it's really starting to freak me out at how this is all coming together so smoothly. nothing in my life has ever happened like this. *knock on wood*

i'm trying so desperately not to get my hopes up about this. there is a chance i may not get it....so i'm trying to remain calm. you have no idea how hard that is.

i'm going out of my mind.

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 19:45:27 GMT

seriously. i don't want to come to work tomorrow...i'm so tempted to give them the finger and walk out. but i can't. why? because i need the work. my last day is on May 21st. i don't know if i can take another month of this hell hole. i started crying before i got to work today....not because i was sad, i was just upset over the fact that i have to be here. i really hate it. it's the worst place i've worked, next to JC Pennys and Ordway. it's so disorganized and when the main person leaves....everyone else is in the dark. i never got the full training so people are asking me things and i have no clue. i feel helpless and i can't really direct them to someone else because no one else knows! i honestly get really anxious and nervous every morning. i'm so deathly afraid of fucking things up for my co-worker. she should be back tomorrow, god i hope she will be.

and on top of the nervousness about the current job....i'm nervous as hell about my phone interview. an hour and 50 minutes until i get the call. i'm going to have to have a drink or something before they call me. just to calm my nerves at bit. i don't want to freak out and cry on the phone or something. i'm trying to prepare myself for who may or may not be on the other side of the phone. fuck...i'm scared shitless.

in other interesting news....Lance Bass got his eyebrow pierced. o_O what the fuck is all i have to say about that.

why do i do this to myself?

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 10:15:52 GMT

so i'm kinda drunk and i get home. i start talking to my ex online. god i fucking miss him. it's good that we broke up when we did....but he was the first guy i ever loved. he made me feel like such a princess. and we were talking, he remembers everything that happened. even the little things, like our trip to Morro Bay or the time i taught him to drive stick shift. he even remembered the street name of where my dad used to work. i didn't even remember some of that stuff...and he did. and i broke down and admitted to missing him. he told me he missed me too. fuck. he was really good to me. he's so unhappy in the relationship he's in now, and i want to take him away from it. but it's not my place to.

it sucks.

oh my god, i really am Jai.

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 01:07:20 GMT

You're Jai Rodriguez!

Which 'Queer Eye' Guy Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

le sigh

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:34:55 GMT

well, i went out last night with Alexandro and had mostly a good time. i say mostly because i was having a good time until i saw my former crush with his girlfriend. it fucking hurts, you know? i really really fucking liked this guy, and he stepped on my heart. it was the first time i had ever come straight out and told someone i liked them....and i never want to do it again. ever. he's so cold. and it makes me angry that someone so cold and heartless can find a girlfriend....and i can't find anyone. i told Allen...sometimes i wish i didn't have a heart and didn't care. he told me my heart was one of the best things about me....and i've had lots of people say that to me....but how come it gets me nowhere?

and then i find out Alexandro got laid when he was in LA. i don't know why it upsets me so much. there will never be anything between us....he's gay and i'm a woman. i guess it irks me because there for awhile, there was something between us. but we never had sex of any sort. and i think what made finding out he got laid was the fact that he didn't even tell me. Allen told me. and Alexandro was like..."oh i thought i told you!" he knew goddamn well he didn't tell me. i don't know why i let it get to me. i really don't. but it hurts.